Freakfaced
Episode #05 - Happiness Inn
Written by: CS-Yellow
Edited by: CS-Masyet
Junior: We're here!
Sharp: Are you sure this is the place, Indigo?
Indigo: I think so... on the map it looks a lot newer. But it says Happiness Inn, so it must be.
Fern: Well, let's not waste our time by just standing here. Let's go inside.
Sharp: (I have a bad feeling about this place...)

The four go inside and rent a small room for the night. They all lay down in the beds and try to fall asleep. By late nighttime, Fern is the only one awake.

Fern: (How come the Dimension Transporter sensed magic in me? I'm not magic! Unless... There's no reason that I should be thinking this! I'm not magic! The Transporter must've had a glitch; that's the only way...) Falls asleep.

Junior wakes up late the next morning, but the others are still sleeping. Excluding Sharp, who was wide awake making pancakes.

Sharp: Oh, you're awake. I don't know how they can sleep that late; the beds are so hard and lumpy.
Junior: Maybe I should go wake them up. Shakes Indigo and Fern awake.
Indigo: Junior! *yawn* Can't you see we're trying to sleep?
Fern: We're tired and I fell asleep really late!
Junior: I'm sorry, but we're leaving soon.
Indigo: Junior, five more minutes please...
Fern: Yeah, Junior. Indigo and I are super tired.
Junior: *sigh* Fine... Turns to Sharp. I'm giving them five more minutes.
Sharp: Okay. Will you give me a hand with breakfast?

Five minutes later...

Junior: Fern! Indigo! Wake up!
Fern: Junior, please! We're trying to sleep. These beds are so comfy... *yawn*
Indigo: Five more minutes...
Junior: I gave you five minutes already! Get up. After being practically forced out of bed, they eat breakfast.
Sharp: How should we begin our search today, Indigo? I was thinking we should find the sapphire first; probably at a jewlery store.
Indigo: Oh, do we have to? I was thinking we could spend today relaxing instead; this place is so awesome!
Fern: Yeah, listen to Indigo!
Sharp: Did you two just agree with each other?!?
Indigo: Yeah, we're friends! What do you expect? Hugs Fern.
Junior: Did you just hug her?!?
Sharp: And this place isn't awesome; look around! The room is small and dirty, the beds are lumpy; this place is a dump!
Indigo: *giggle* Sharp, what are you talking about? The room is huge and clean and the beds are like clouds.
Sharp: *groan* I'll be right back! Runs out of the room and takes a walk to think about things. He hears a voice.
Man: I don't flippin' care! Do you think I'm flippin' stupid, yo? This place isn't just a regular flippin' inn!
Sharp: Huh? What is he talking about? Before he can think any further the man opens the door to his room and walks out. Sharp notices he has hippie-like features.
Man: Hey you, flippin' redhead!
Sharp: Are you talking to me?
Man: Flippin' yes!
Sharp: Who are you?
Man: I'm Frederick Lucas Isaac Patrick Peter Ian Nate, but people call me Flippin' for short.
Sharp: Hello, Flippin'.
Flippin': What's your flippin' name?
Sharp: I'm Sharp.
Flippin': Ah. How long have you been in this flippin' place?
Sharp: One night, why?
Flippin': Only a flippin' night? I've been here for flippin' thirty nine years! And a night really means four days!
Sharp: Four days? Compare that to thirty nine years! Why did you stay so long?
Flippin': This place... it ain't just a flippin' inn. I figured that out. Flippin'. The workers flippin' hypnotize you to stay here forever and love it. You've got to flippin' leave now. I'll come, too. Flippin'.
Sharp: That explains a lot. Come with me. Walks with Flippin' to his room. Guys, this is Flippin', a friend I've met. He told me we need to leave... now. The people here hypnotized us. Well, at least you, Fern and Indigo... Come on! We need to leave quickly. Introduces Flippin' to everyone.
Fern: Stop kidding around, Sharp!
Indigo: Yeah, what's wrong with you?
Sharp: You don't understand; we're in grave danger! We might never get to leave if we don't go now!
Junior: Listen to Sharp! This might be our only chance!
Flippin': We gotta flippin' leave! Like right flippin' now, yo!
Fern: You guys are nuts.
Indigo: Maybe you should lay down or something, seriously.
Sharp: I'm serious! Listen!
Fern/Indigo: ...
Flippin': I'm sorry I gotta flippin' do this, but... Grabs a kicking Fern and slings her onto his shoulder, then seizes Indigo and carries her under his arm.
Fern: Punches and kicks Flippin'. Hey, let me down! Let go of me!
Indigo: Stop that! Tries to wriggle away, but doesn't succeed.
Flippin': What do you want me to flippin' do with these flippin' runts now?
Sharp: Just get all of us out of here.
Junior: And fast! Flippin'!
Flippin': Are you flippin' mocking me?
Junior: *gulp* N-no, sir.....
Flippin': Now, there are guards blocking every flippin' door, every flippin' corridor, every flippin' elevator. But there is one place that isn't as flippin' heavily guarded, probably because it it's hardly ever flippin' used. Follow me, flippin.' Runs down a hallway, goes to the highest floor on the elevator, and leads them past the laundry room. Flippin' over here. Shh. Exits the laundry room and finds himself in a narrow corridor. Opens a sliding window.
Sharp: A fire escape! How'd you find it?
Flippin': This place is flippin' magic. It only confuses people with magic in their flippin' blood. It didn't flippin' confuse me, 'cause I ain't flippin' magic. I got flippin' lost and needed a place to stay. My great great great great great great great great great flippin' grandma was one half magic, an' by the time the flippin' generation got to me I wasn't flippin' magic at all. I discovered that this inn flippin' changed sizes and room and flippin' floors. I found a flippin' secret passageway and was gonna use it flippin' today.
Junior: But why did it take you thirty nine years?
Flippin': I flippin told you, it changed every day. It was so flippin' confusing... but never mind. We must flippin' go! Opens the sliding door and lifts every child into the fire escape. Jumps in it after. There's a flippin' guard at the corner, but you... Points to Indigo. You can flippin' stun him, can't you?
Indigo: I guess I can try...
Flippin': Wait, you're the flippin' princess of Witch World!
Indigo (blushing): Yeah, that's right...
Flippin': Wow, flippin' wow! Let's get outta here, flippin'! They all climb down the fire escape.
Guard: Hey, what do you think you're doing? Get back in the inn! Now! Chases them.
Flippin': Indigo... flippin'!
Indigo: Oh, right! Pulls out her rod. Zap! The guard falls to the ground. They keep running. They run deep into the forest and hide under a tree.
Fern (tired): *huff* Wow... Flippin', you saved us!
Indigo: *cough* Ahem?
Fern: Yeah, whatever. Like I was saying; Flippin', you saved us.
Indigo: Glares at Fern.
Fern: But why were only Indigo and I affected?
Flippin': Because you're both flippin' magic, of course.
Fern: But I'm not magic!
Flippin': That's what you flippin' think...

To Be Continued...