MOLASSES MAN
"Greetings dear viewers, I'm Molasses Man, here with Parcheesi to bring you today's news! Parcheesi, what's today's weather?"

PARCHEESI
"Sunny with a chance of meatballs."

MOLASSES MAN
"Yeah, I wish. Anyway, this just in: New Mexico is in fact not in Mexico."

PARCHEESI
"It's in America, right?"

MOLASSES MAN
"That is correct. But it wasn't always that way."

PARCHEESI
Gasps. "Really?"

MOLASSES MAN
"Indeed."

PARCHEESI
"Oh please, do tell."

MOLASSES MAN
"Very well. It all started on a normal, Mexican day. In Mexico. You see, New Mexico used to actually be a part of Mexico, but it was called... some word in Mexican I can't pronounce."

PARCHEESI
"Then what happened?"

MOLASSES MAN
"A man stole it from the Mexicans. A man... named Waldo."

PARCHEESI
Gasps. "No way!"

MOLASSES MAN
"Yes way! But as soon as he crossed the Mexican-American border, the police came after him. So he dropped New Mexico and fled. Waldo's been in hiding ever since."

PARCHEESI
"Where was he planning on taking New Mexico?"

MOLASSES MAN
"To his home country, of course."

PARCHEESI
"England?"

MOLASSES MAN
"No, silly. Canada!"

PARCHEESI
"Are you sure?"

MOLASSES MAN
"Isn't it obvious, Parcheesi? I mean, have you seen his shirt? Those red and white stripes make it glaringly obvious! It totally speaks Canadian."

PARCHEESI
"But Canadian isn't a language."

MOLASSES MAN
"Yes, and Parcheesi isn't a kind of cheese."

PARCHEESI
*sniff* "You went to far that time, sir..." Starts crying.

MOLASSES MAN
"Suck it up, man. No matter who is looking for him, everybody asks the same question: Where's Waldo? ... Would you stop crying already?"

PARCHEESI
"S-sorry..."

MOLASSES MAN
"Well, that's it folks. This is Molasses Man..."

PARCHEESI
"...and Parcheesi!"

MOLASSES MAN
"Signing out!"

END

Seriously, why is it called New Mexico?