MOLASSES MAN
"Greetings dear viewers, I'm Molasses Man, here with Parcheesi to bring you today's news! Parcheesi, what's today's weather?"

PARCHEESI
"It's raining, sir."

MOLASSES MAN
"I think that's glaring obvious, you idiotic buffoon."

PARCHEESI
"B-but sir, you asked me t-..."

MOLASSES MAN
"Anyway, would you like to hear another fascinating tale?"

PARCHEESI
"Y-yes sir! That would be great!"

MOLASSES MAN
"Of course it will. So Parcheesi, do you know about the game called 'Marco Polo'?"

PARCHEESI
"Isn't it that game where you pretend you're blind and tag the other players?"

MOLASSES MAN
"Exactly. Do you know that this game's origins come from the famous Marco Polo, inventer of sherbet ice cream?"

PARCHEESI
"R-really?"

MOLASSES MAN
"Yes. He climbed a steep mountain. A very steep mountain; in hopes of being inspired to invent something."

PARCHEESI
"How daring! How steep was this mountain?"

MOLASSES MAN
"Extremely steep. In fact, it's the biggest mountain in the entire world!"

PARCHEESI
"Mt. Everest?"

MOLASSES MAN
"No silly, that's the tallest tree. I'm talking about the famous... MOUNT RUSHMORE!"

PARCHEESI
"Mt.... Rushmore, sir...?

MOLASSES MAN
"Indeed. And it snowed harshly that da-..."

PARCHEESI
"It snows at Mt. Rushmore?"

MOLASSES MAN
"SILENCE!"

PARCHEESI
"S-sorry..."

MOLASSES MAN
"Anyway... It snowed harshly that day. In fact, that's how he became blind!"

PARCHEESI
Gasps. Really?!"

MOLASSES MAN
"Nah, I made that up. Moving on... When the snow finally cleared, you know what he saw?"

PARCHEESI
"W-what? What did he see?"

MOLASSES MAN
"Abraham Lincoln's face!"

PARCHEESI
"Oh, that's not very surprising..."

MOLASSES MAN
"Oh, really?! So you've seen many a ghost head in your spare time, have you?"

PARCHEESI
"I was talking about the carving of his face on the mountain, sir."

MOLASSES MAN
"Parcheesi, why the heck would someone carve someone's face on a mountain?!"

PARCHEESI
"Well, I..."

MOLASSES MAN
"Shut up, you ignoramus."

PARCHEESI
"I-ignoramu-..."

MOLASSES MAN
"Anyway, seeing Lincoln and the snow around him reminded him of something... fruit! And ice cream! And that is how sherbet ice cream was born."

PARCHEESI
"But sir, where did the Marco Polo game come from?"

MOLASSES MAN
"Who cares! This is Molasses Man..."

PARCHEESI
"...and Parcheesi..."

MOLASSES MAN
"Signing out!"

END

Seriously, where did the Marco Polo game originate from?