Root and Berry Retreat
Episode #02 - The Rules of the Game
By: CS-Yellow

Seade
Mr. Dindah's struggling to put the tent together. You see people getting tangled up in tents all the time in movies, but when it's real-life, it's a lot funnier. A lot. The tent poles are on top of Mr. Dindah's wimpy chest. He is gasping for air.
"Help me, I'm dying!" Mr. Dindah shrieks.
We all just stare at him, laughing. Cougarr's laugh is really weird: a loud, hacking sound mixed with a bunch of GRRS and ROARS. Mulch's laugh is deep and ugly.
"If you were dying, you'd be dead, dead-face," Mulch says. "Wait, that doesn't make any sense...."
"Please, kiddies, just help me..."
"Nah," I scoff, and walk away.

Mulch
I really wouldn't be happy if Mr. Dindah died, although I'm not so sure about Seade. Even I know it's a hacking-stupid idea that could possibly kill someone. I follow Seade. She stomps into the woods and sits down on a log. I cautiously sit down a few inches away.
"What do you want, Mulch?"
I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything. I just stare at my shoes.
"If you don't have anything to say, then leave, because I didn't sign up for this."
I left, sighing.

Cougarr
I admit it: I saved Mr. Dindah's life. I roared at the poles. They didn't move, so I ripped them off and threw them on the ground, ROARing. They didn't move. My roaring worked.

Mr. Dindah
I hate dying. It just doesn't feel good. I stand up shakily and thank Cougarr for saving my life. I'll always have a bit of respect for him now...I mean, why shouldn't I? The kid saved my body from decaying on the ground and being eaten by vultures. You can't just forget about something like that.

Seade
It's been an hour since Mulch left, and I feel kind of bad. He didn't do anything to me. I get up and start to walk back. By the time I get to the campsite, the tent is set up. I sigh, because that means Mr. Dindah is still alive.
"Hey, Seade, you're just in time. It's the Ceremony of the Sashes!" Mr. Dindah says, excitedly. He isn't even mad that I attempted to kill him. I find that just a little weird...
"Uh, yeah. The Ceremony of the Sashes, I forgot..." I mumble.
Mr. Dindah pulls three maroon sashes out from his "Berry Awesome Bag."
"Here ya go, Sea-sea." He hands one to me.
"MY NAME IS SEADE."
"Sure, sure...okay, put the sashes on, now."
I slide my sash on, feeling extremely weird.
"Now, kiddies, these are the Sashes of the Seaders. You three are the three Seaders, children who are chosen to collect rare, spiritual seeds and roots. Every time you accomplish a task or do something well, you are given a patch. There are 2,258 patches in total. Every day we wake at 4:00, we dress, have Giggle Time, eat breakfast, go on a Root Hunt, eat lunch, go on a Berry Hunt, earn patches, observe our findings, have a campfire, and go to bed at 7:00. We have Lessons on Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays."
Swell.

Mr. Dindah
I finish explaining to the children. They all just stare at me, smirks on their cute, happy faces. I tell them they can go unpack their things.
Seade is upset she only has two square feet of space. I say,
"Don't worry, lil' Seadey, If we stack boxes on top of eachother and force them in a corner, you can fit TWO WHOLE outfits in here. And look, I've provided you with a cotton-ball bed to keep you warm on those extra-chilly evenings!"
She just stares.
"Mr. Dindah, you are soooo generous. Wow! Two outfits which can last me TWO days! We're here for a YEAR! And my name is Seade, not Seade-ling, Sea-sea, or lil' Seadey."

Mulch
I can tell Seade's about to strangle Dindah.
"Seade Root, I have freedom of speech," Dindah says. What a dipwad.
"I have freedom of speech, too. I hate you!" She tears off her shoe and chucks it at Dindah's head.
"Owww!" Mr. Dindah slowly falls to the ground.

Cougarr
R.O.A.R. Seade + Dindah = HATE

Seade
It's nighttime now. I can't fall asleep. All I can think about is Harold and my home. I hate Mr. Dindah. I can hear the crickets chirping, and Mr. Dindah snoring the alphabet backwards.
"...Z....Y.....X....W.....V...U....T.."

Mulch
It's still dark out. Mr. Dindah creeps next to me. I can sense his presence.
"Arise, arise, and wipe your tired eyes....arise, arise, and wipe your tired eyes.
Get up, get up, to empty your cup...
Awake, awake, dont't cause an earthquake...
Mulchitis is sleeping, yes, yes, he is....
Mulchitis is sleeping, so Mulch, WAKE UP!"
It's all I can do to not bust out laughing. What a dumb song.
"Mr. Flynn, it is nearly four a.m. You must arise. I gave you a warning by singing the Arise Song."
I pretend to be sleeping, and snore. And then, in an instant, Mr. Dindah's pinned on the ground. By me. I'm so strong.
Mr. Dindah makes a squeaking sound. His eyes are terrified. I laugh and spit in his face. I punch him hard in the nose. Blood drips down near his mouth.
"Mr. Flynn, it is NOT NICE TO PUNCH PEOPLE WITHOUT ASKING FIRST!"

Seade
Mr. Dindah comes out of the tent with a bloodstained bandage wrapped around his lower face. I smirk.
"Well, we were SUPPOSED to have Giggle Time, but Mulchitis ruined that for all of us. So now, my children, we will just have to eat breakfast," Mr. Dindah says. His voice is muffed by the bandages. I watch him light a fire and cook these weird weeds in a pan. When he's done, he hands me a stick with burnt weeds twisted around it.
"Eat up, Sea-Diddy." I don't bother to tell him my name is Seade. I cautiously take a bite, and instantly regret it. The weeds are scorched and slimy. I spit them out.
"These are gross!" I yell. "Are you trying to torture me?"

Mr. Dindah
I can't believe Seade hates Weeds on a Stick.
"Well, fine, don't eat it. You'll be hungry. We stop for lunch at noon."
"And what's for lunch? Roots on a stick?" Seade asks sarcastically.
I pause. "Well, yes, actually..."

Cougarr
When I try the Weeds on a Stick, I just say, "ROAR."
"Cougarr, please stop roaring," Mr. Dindah says.
"ROAR."
Mr. D ignores me. "Okay, you all have four minutes to dress. Starting now. Meet back here for our Root Hunt!"
ROAR. I wonder what the Root Hunt is going to be like...