Root and Berry Retreat
Episode #03 - The Root Hunt
By: CS-Yellow

Mulch
We're waiting for Seade to dress. We were supposed to have four minutes to dress. It's been at least fifteen. Finally, she emerges from the tent. Her black hair is curled, she is wearing black lipstick, and a tank top and shorts.
"Lil' Seadey, that took way too long," Dindah says.
"I'm a girl, Mr. D."
"Fine, girls from now on get four minutes and fifty-three seconds."
Seade rolls her eyes.
"ROAR."
"Okay, everyberry, I have brought along some Root and Berry Aprons to store our roots and berries. Right now I'd like you all to put them on. Also, here are some special hiking boots which are infused with berries to help you all stay smelling berry-fresh!"
He hands all of us an apron and a pair of hiking boots. I put them on. So does Seade and Cougarr. We all look so stupid, I just stare at the dirt covered ground and wonder why I ever even agreed to go on this stupid retreat.

Seade
We're hiking now. Mr. D is scanning a color coded map of the whole forest. I hate to admit it, but my boots do smell good...
"The map says that the Western Gurdy Root is located about six miles from here. We must harvest it,or else it will die!"
So we walk. And walk. AND WALK. I'm sure we're there and when I ask Dindah, he says,
"Only five miles to go!"
Mulch and I groan. Cougarr roars. Just to make things worse, Mr. Dindah tries to get us to chant the Root and Berry chant.
"Root and be-rry, root and be-rry, root and be-rry. Oogachaka, oogachacka!"
And so on.

Cougarr
I don't mind walking, really but I do mind chanting the root and berry chant. Most cougars stalk the forest, so I do, too. I get down on the ground and crawl all the way there, roaring occasionally.

Mr. Dindah
"We're HERE!" I yell. I clear my throat and begin talking about Western Gurdy Roots,
"Kiddies, you can find Western Gurdy Roots buried in the ground. They're like Eastern Gurdy Roots, but Western... okay?" The kiddies look at me. "Wester Gurdy Roots contain magical powers. Once you grind them up and add water and leave them in a bag for forty years, smear them all over yourself and something special will happen. Today we will do just that. So you all better find at least fifty roots. Some to grind up, and some to store. We have to get them all if possible because they are rare and soon will DIE!"
"Finally! What now?" Mulch asks me.
"Well, you will all get a shovel and....... DIG!" I exclaim, jumping up and, flapping my arms!
"DIG? HOW WILL WE KNOW WHERE?"
"Instinct..."
"Roar..."

Mulch
Seriously? Dig? How in the world will we know where? I start to scan the ground for roots.
"ROAR!" Cougarr pulls up a root from the ground.
"How did you find that?" Seade asks, angrily.
"Roar..."
I walk over to the area where Cougarr was sniffing. Maybe he will lead me to some roots. I pick up the shovel near me and start to dig. Soon enough I see a root sticking up from the ground.
"ROAR! ROAR... ROAR!" Cougarr screams and jumps on top of me.
"The root is mine! I dug it up!" I yell angrily. But Cougarr hoists it up and stashes it in his apron.
"Roar!"
I glare at Cougarr for stealing my root. But why should I care?

Mr. Dindah
I was so proud of Cougarr for finding TWO WHOLE ROOTS! What a kiddie! First He saved my life, roared at the poles and then found two roots! I wish Seade would make an effort to even look for a root! At least that Mulch kiddie tries. Mulch just isn't a natural root collector! He might have more luck with berries.

Seade
I didn't try to find roots. I didn't want to. Mulch tried as hard as he could but every time he got a root in sight Cougarr pounced on him and took it. What did Mr. Dindah want the roots for anyway? Did he need them for his hair growth? Did anyone mention he is bald? So many questions.
"COUGARR, FOR THE LAST TIME THIS IS MY ROOT! MY ROOT! MY ROOT! MY ROOT! MY ROOT! MINE! So, give it back! You have already stolen six roots from me. Quit it!" Mulch exclaims. Suddenly I feel bad for Mulch... I mean, the poor kid collected six roots and stupid Cougarr is getting the credit.
"Mr. Dindah... Have you noticed that Mulch is sweating like crazy? And Cougarr looks fine? It's because Cougarr is stealing all of Mulch's roots!" I yell furiously.
"What, how can this be? Seade, how can you lie!" Mr.Dindah asks.
"I'm not lying, Mr. D," I retort.
"Seade-ling, please just start collecting some roots. At least make an effort."
"Mr. D, how would you like it if I called you D.D., or D-Diddy, or Dindah-ling, or Big D? How would you like it?" I say bravely.
"Well, lil' Seadey, I WOULD JUST LOVE IT!"
I sigh, and start digging.

Cougarr
Stealing is just a way of life. Okay, I admit it. I stole all of ten of Mulch's roots. I got my first 10- Root Patch. Mr. Dindah pinned it on my shirt proudly. Now I'm roaring at it. I am so happy and proud of myself. ROAR.

Mulch
I can't believe it. Mr. Dindah says our Root Collecting time is up. Seade found more roots than I did. I found one. Cougarr found over thirty. Seade found about ten, and got a patch. Mr. Dindah harvested the rest.
"Okay,kichilds, let's head back for lunch!"
Good. I'm starving. I know this is a bad idea, but I slip my hand into Cougarr's apron and steal one root. Just one. I eat it. It tastes okay, actually.
"ROAR! Theif! ROAR!" Cougarr yells.
"Mulch, did you steal a root from Cougarr?" asks Dindah.
"No." I swallow it.
"Mulchitis, spit that root back up!"
"How? I-I can't!"
"Mulchitis Flynn, go away and don't come back until that root is spit back up!"
"B-but..."
"GO."
"Roar."
I retreat far away. I'm not spitting that root back up, no way. I manage to find a root on the ground, crush it a little, and dip it in a puddle so it looks like it's been spit up. I give it to Mr. Doofus.
"Thank you, Mulchitis."
I want to punch his nose again.
I won.

Seade
I have to admit, it was funny how Dindah made Mulch spit that root out. I know he didn't really, though. He's clever like that. We walk back to our campsite. My legs burn from all the walking. I wish I didn't agree to this dumb retreat. We still have to collect berries today. I wonder how Cougarr will get his berries this time....